This is going to be a bit personal and I'd request those of you who're not concerned with us to kindly stop reading from here. This is going to be the first time I'm doing something of this type, I really don't know if it's the right way, but I guess this is how it has to be done. I'm a shy person and please do respect my privacy, I'd like to pretend like this never happened if the outcome of this happening is not positive.


Date: 04-07-2011
Visakhapatnam.


Sruthi,

I know that the introduction for this letter is bad. I couldn't even quote a single line from the millions of silly chit-chats we had. It's not that I've forgotten all those good times, I've just lost myself in that phase of my life, and I consider this phase as the best in my life. I'm no poet, but let me rephrase it this way, the best phase of my life isn't a phase at all, it's a life in its own sense. It's cliched, I know, but no matter how much ever I try, all my efforts of trying to elaborate your beauty end up as contrived metaphors. They say the true state of nature, the universe and God is too complex to sum up in one mathematical equation. I believe, it's much more complex to weave a few words to describe what you've done to me. As I've said before, I've lost myself in alternate reality, lost in those times when you were more than just another person to me, those times when I could feel the first stings of whatever the feeling was. I guess being in love is same as living in Lilliput-land. Everything becomes nothing, the monotony vanishes, yet the subtle feeling of sameness repeats itself, this time in the vivid realm of immense happiness derived from your memories. I'm in this state now, wherein a part of my heart say that you'll love me back and another part says you won't, it's like matter and anti-matter- and their clash. I think I now know what the old phrase means - "Stealing one's heart". You didn't just steal it, you've vanished it into thin air with the sparkle of your eye.

You must be thinking now, is there any reason for me to love him? Well, strictly speaking, yes! I know that you're amidst hundreds of people who love you. But the problem is, you aren't able to decide to give priority to whose love first. And love these days is like a rainbow, it's catchy, huge yet extremely short lived. Your friends love you because they've no other reason to hate you, you relatives love you because they've no other option! Love has been forced onto you ever since you were born! You were not given any chance whatsoever to decide whom to love. By default, you're loving everyone and everyone. Love's a bottomless pit, yes, but then one can know the pleasure of giving only when they take.

Your parents only love you because you're more like than investment for them, a rare piece of art something like Picasso's paintings. They love you, they love you so much that they don't leave you a choice. And don't you think you'll be bored after a while? At one point I guess you must have felt that they've loved you so much that you've started hating them. I'm not like that, I'm giving you a chance, love me or leave me. And I'll love you only till the extent you can love me back, my love won't be in the excess - as too much of love might just lead to hatred. But again I'm not telling you that I'll be leaving you in a shallow pond of love, I'll just leave you in a pool deep enough for you to enjoy and be happy. I won't force you to love anyone else, you can just listen to what your heart tells you.

You might think, why is he loving me? Why not any other girl? You might think you're gullible because you think you're not intelligent and beautiful. You yourself know that you aren't beautiful, because I've heard you tell to yourself thousands of times that you aren't beautiful. I know that people mockingly tell you that 'You're beautiful'. I've also got to know about the ugly sketches your classmates drew about you. I've seen that pain in you. I can go around and make half a dozen beautiful girls go crazy about me. But it's not beauty I'm after. I can marry a beautiful girl but I should keep on praising her beauty even after years it fades out because I've married her because of her beauty. It's an ego thing. With you, there won't be any such problems, because you're beautiful in a way you have to be, you're beautiful for my eyes only. And this gives me a reason not to lie in the future about your beauty, so I'll be a truthful lover too. I can't make you beautiful but I can make you feel that you're the most beautiful person on this planet. I can keep you happy and satisfied, what else does one want? Think about it, I have only one life-so do you and I want to live it with the best person in the world. Because I'll love you like you've never been loved before. Hoping that'll you'll give a reply soon.


Yours loving,
Sruthi.




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Sruthi jumped and glee and held the paper close to her heart. Her roommates were surprised, they were heard saying "How did she get one?" Shruti threw a party that night after which she cried in the bathroom all the while till the next morning, muttering, "Why...why didn't you make me beautiful?"