Disclaimer: The following story is extremely vulgar and also very crude. The language is mostly offensive and it might disturb some readers. The gore content though is minimal, whatever exists is pretty graphic. The post is long, but has enough substance to keep you glued. Enjoy! And leave your comments!
“You call it the epitome of the century?”
“I do, Brett, in fact it is!”
“What the Fuck? Mickey, you are one damned fool to the core!”
“Since when has a contraceptive pill become the synonym of greatness of the human civilization?
“What in the world makes you think that it is not?. It is environment friendly, and prevents global warming and also it can get me a Nobel Prize for my theory!”
“Fuck Mickey, how did that idea seep into you? And since when have you become a sissy and started licking those pills?”
“One need not be a sissy to lick those pills, if ‘someone’ would have used those pills, the world might not have seen your fuckin face!”
“Arsehole, if that someone were to be your *beep* I would be a more happier man!”
The cream colored Honda City whizzed past the busy city streets. Dodging cars and a couple of stray dogs, the car itself made progress into the darker alleys of the city. The contents of the car, were two criminal looking Asians indulging in a very deep dialogue.
“But Brett, who the fuckin cares? I tell you, the greatest invention of all the time, the secret to human civilizations leap into success is the Toilet fuckin Seat!”
“If not for this great invention, millions of acres of land would have gone fuckin waste; sanitation problems would have trouble the already troubled cities. New strains of viruses would have spread over as in most of the Sci-fi movies; there would have been a fuckin explosive catastrophe!”
“Mick, you’ve lost your senses, the lands would have become more fertile, owing to the fertile human waste, we could have gotten more ‘organic’ food, and the cost for fertilizers would have come down. As for the virus, where did the fuckin Paracetamol go? It cures any disease isn’t it?”
“Fuck the fertility man!. I guess your brain must have gone through the sewer today, will you eat, your OWN fucking, waste? The chicken in the country side would eat the worms from those fields, so will the birds. The crop from the fields and the food from the land, all of them will have it. The whole world will be fuckin shitfest from thereafter, a fuckin fest owing to your extremely judicious decision of Opposing me”
“Fuck man, fuck the shit. It ain’t competing with my idea, not at all. Especially when it competes with the contraceps”
“Bloody Hell, people are dying without bathrooms, squatting like loaded flies for the basic human need, and you call it fuckin worthless?! I guess you were not born with a bowel, you fuckin retard.”
“Whoa, whoa, cool it man, I bet my Momma never even licked half a contracep, so I am fully born, and it is you who is a moron, a big fuckin one, who does not understand the relation, the world is stinking because it does not revere contraceps, if it were to revere it, then there would have been no fucking toilet seat tragedies around!”
“Half the shit that pours into the world man is Human. Not the shit you are thinking about, it is the pure, absolute fuckin filth of stupid human brain I am talking about!. If half the fads with bowels were to be wiped out from the face of the earth, imagine, the fuckin number of people with ‘bowels’ who would have the scarcity to ‘satisfy’ their bloody stinking needs! Man, the whole world would be fertile, fuckin free from chemicals and also, free from fads *evil grin*”
Armed with two baseball clubs, they walked towards the false painted building of hypocrisy and filth stuffed deep within it, and also, partly outside. The buttons in the elevator had their paints scratched off, partly due to friction and also probably by the millions of germs feeding on it, troubling people with low mathematical skills with a little pain in the ass, for finding the right floor. Little did these two little ‘high’ Asians know that they were on the seventh floor when they were supposed to be on the sixth. The ultra crap designer jeans have small contours, possibly of a firearm, each as long as the arms, or was it their own Jacobs dangling around?. Their eyes were ignorant to the graphic number plates with seemingly ‘rich’ names were embedded onto them.
“Do you know, that farting is also a major contributor to global warming?”
“Fuck man, and the next time don’t tell me that even breathing increases Carbon dioxide levels. Wtf?”
The Asians walked towards the door. There was a heavy pounding of the door and an unassuming kid opened the door.
“Who are you?”
They kicked the door open, pushing the kid aside. Locked it from the inside. And spread their ‘machinery’ in front of the family.
“Wtf?, the children aren’t supposed be here! And is your name Chuck? I bet you are, because you look like a magnanimous fuck”
“Ey man, stop the Fuck. You thought your children and your wife’s dick was going to save ya?, No stop being noble you cunt and give thy suitcase!”
“Mind your language, there are children here..”
“Look here Mrs. Chuck the Fuck, please do mind your business, you ain’t wanna be sucking a dildo for the rest of your life ain’t it?”
Bang. Smoke bellowed from the lethal weapon and transformed into a beastly shape. The child dropped down, blood oozing from both his ears.
“Look here you tawny fucker, if you or your wife try to dish out another word, I promise that I will raise hell, if not *beep*”
The lady sobbed and it produced a rhythmic sound which resonated with the vibration coming from the nearby refrigerator.
“You fuckin lady, stop crying like wet pant sissy. If only you were spare a buck or two, you could have brought a contracep and that could have prevented me from killing a person, now before I shoot again, please hand over the suitcase that was supposed to be handed over. NOW!”
“Who are you? What did we do? Please”
“You wanna beg motherfucker? Beg? I’ll let you know my opinion, you..”
Bang. The apartment was filled with the screams of Chuck. The main circuit, err, the epitome of masculinity of Chuck was filled with a hole and the carpet behind had a red spray. Bang. The second child dropped down. The wall behind her was filled with a watery material which diluted with the presence of blood giving rise to a red jelly type matter, which in any other given circumstance could have watered the mouth but in this one it watered the pants.
“Now, hand the suitcase and kiss a fuckin goodbye or I promise, I’ll pull each and every digit of yours and harass and mutilate both of you, and then fuckin ransack your house!”
“Please. *sobs* Please. I’ll give the case”
“That good Mrs. Fuck, now please get to work!”
The woman came with an oversized suitcase and dropped it in front of him.
“That’s a good lady. Remember, it takes bravery to fuck but cowardice to suck a dildo, may vengeance be delivered upon you by those poor little souls who lost their lives here, wish you could buy a contracep in your next life, from the book of some John, chapter something line unknown”
The door closed. The two men walked out. But hey!. Wait. Didn’t they leave the couple alive?
“Sorry to come back, but don’t you think, that you should be dead by now?”
Bang. The walls of the apartment shook, so did the walls of our ear drums. Fire engulfed the couple immediately as soon as the bullet hit the gas cylinder. The Asian duo ran their way down to the steps. And quickly got into the car they parked behind the apartment.
“Fuck man!. That was some fireworks!”
“Open the suitcase first!, we gotta see what it has!”
“Apeshit. Three pieces of used underwear, a pair of panties, a blouse and pampers diapers? Is ths the fuck we were supposed to steal?”
“Wtf? Lemme see!”
Unaware of their surroundings, the duo looked into the suitcase which housed the Chuck family’s used clothing, fresh and unwashed after their trip from Croatia. Three men, armed with machine guns, with fierce looks features raised an indiscriminate attack against the two in the car. They were the people whom the Asian ‘dudes’ were supposed to shave off.
Bullets pierced every inch of the car, making it look like a magnified sieve, the windshield was full of blood and presumably brains.
“Mick, agreed. Contraceps are the invention of the century. I wish I was not born. Fuck man, you win. It hurts”
“No Brett, I guess the toilet seats fare well, especially when there is shit all through my pants”
Boom. The car exploded.
This might be the starting of another series, about Psychotic incidents, stories that chill as well as thrill. They will be published sporadically, so keep your eyes open!